Moving Day
by lisalulu
Summary: Andy's big move calls for some big adjustments, but is Andy prepared to go the distance?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: No ownership of Rookie Blue

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Andy wasn't sure that she liked that her furniture was relegated to the spare bedroom and the den – two spaces that hardly saw any use. She'd loved her apartment and the pieces that she'd painstakingly chosen in soft blues and beiges were exactly to her taste. Luke's taste was...well, Luke's taste was just different than hers.

Her stuff and his stuff weren't cohabiting peacefully…they weren't mingling - there was no overlap. There was his stuff and then there was hers. When two people choose to move in together, that implied _togetherness_ – a blending of lives.

Technically, it was his house. His name was on the mortgage, not hers…but did that mean that her stuff was less valid than his. Did that make her wants any less valid than his? She knew that living together would be a big adjustment, but she never realized how big. And, it wasn't just her furniture. It was Andy, herself.

Her flight response was kicking into overdrive, but there was nowhere to run to. When she and Luke had their own places, it was tough enough to stick out the whole night without escaping to her apartment. Now that was gone…where was she going to go? And she definitely couldn't take Luke's car in order to run away for some much-needed space.

She could call Traci, but it wasn't like Traci should have to wake Leo up to put him in the car just so that she could pick Andy up. Andy didn't feel comfortable calling Dov or Chris – not that she didn't trust them both, but they just didn't have that kind of relationship. And she _definitely_ couldn't call her dad to pick her up. Who knew if he was even sober? She knew _exactly_ who she wanted to call, but was struggling against it.

Sam.

He had just left here 6 hours ago after helping her move. He had offered up his truck – his precious baby, in order to move her in with Luke. Sure, they were friends, but there was much more to their relationship than that just swimming beneath the surface, although neither of them was prepared to blatantly acknowledge it.

Now here it was, midnight, her first night in Luke's house _(she couldn't stop thinking about it as Luke's house rather than their house),_ sitting on the edge of Luke's bed with her cell phone in her hand, when she should be curled up next to the man she was supposedly spending the rest of her life with. In reality, she was struggling not to make the call that would change the course of her relationship with both men.

Taking care not to wake Luke, although that man could sleep through anything it seemed, Andy made her way down to the kitchen. Pouring herself a glass of water, she stared at the phone in her hand contemplating the consequences of one phone call. She scrolled through her contacts…Sam…her thumb hovering over the call button…press…_ring_…_ring_…

"Swarek, here," was the abrupt answer from the other end of the phone.

"Sam? It's me." He knew that already – her name and number showed on his call display.

"McNally? What's up? Shouldn't you be all curled up with Callaghan right about now? Trouble in paradise?" _Sarcasm = Defence Mechanism = Self-Preservation_.

"I couldn't sleep. Did I wake you?" She felt better just hearing his voice, even if it was sarcastic teasing.

"I was up – just watching TV"…silence…"Andy, are you going to tell me what you're calling for or do I have to guess?" Sam's sarcasm wasn't enough to cover the concern in his voice.

"…I think I made a mistake," Andy tentatively responded.

"Hold tight, I'll be there in 20. Oh, and Andy…watch for me. A confrontation with Callaghan isn't really high on my to-do list tonight."


	2. Chapter 2

_Sorry for the delay, folks. SERIOUS writer's block, so apologies if this chapter is a bit weak. If I keep up this pace, look for completion in 2011!_

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Andy kept looking out the window for Sam's truck, hoping and praying that Luke wouldn't wake up and come looking for her. _Man, if there was a bad girlfriend award…_

She had no idea what she was going to do when Sam got here, but figured it would come to her in the moment. Leaving with Sam was a definite option, but the fallout from that would be huge. If she did that, things with Luke would definitely be over…_ya think?_ But maybe just knowing that it was an option would be enough. Maybe just talking to Sam would be enough to set things to rights.

Seeing the lights of his truck pulling into the driveway, Andy wrapped her sweater more tightly around herself and stepped outside. As she made her way toward the passenger side door of Sam's truck, he unrolled the window.

"Hey," he said, with concern in his eyes.

"Hey," was the simple response.

"You want to go for a drive?"

"Do you mind if we just talk for a while?"

"Door's unlocked if you want to get in…unless you'd rather go for a walk?"

"A walk sounds good. Did you bring a jacket?"

"Good thing I remembered to grab one on my way out the door. I left in a bit of a hurry…got a call from my partner who sounded like she needed a friend," he teased, reaching behind him into the back seat to grab his jacket. He quickly rolled up the window and got out of the truck, locking it with the remote. No alarm tonight, not wanting to risk waking up Callaghan.

They both started walking side by side, neither one of them making a move to touch the other. Andy's silence was starting to get to Sam, although he tamped down the urge to pressure her into an explanation. _Let her get there in her own time…_

A few minutes were all it took, before Andy started. "Thanks for coming, Sam. You don't know how much this means to me."

"No problem, McNally. So, are you going to tell me what's going on in your head, or am I going to have to guess?"

Andy strengthened her resolve and offered, "I have no idea what I'm doing…or why I'm doing it."

"You're going to have to be a bit more specific, McNally."

Now that Andy had started, the words continued almost without breath. "Why was I in such a rush, Sam? I mean, what was I thinking when I agreed to this?"

"By _this_, I'm assuming you mean moving in with Callaghan? Come on, McNally. You had to have known what a big step this is."

"I knew it in my head – theoretically - but now that I'm in it…I'm just not ready for this, I mean, this isn't just playing house. And it's not like I've had any great relationship examples to go by."

"Now, I don't know everything about your past, but I know enough to know that your transition into domestic bliss wasn't going to be an easy one. You were fooling yourself if you ever thought it was, McNally."

Sam was never one to sugar coat it. That was one of the things Andy both loved and hated about him. She could always count on Sam for the truth. Even if it hurt, Sam always dealt it straight.

The two _friends_ walked in silence until Andy couldn't stand it anymore.

"Before I moved in with Luke, I'd never spent a whole night at his place," she blurted, tensing while waiting for Sam's reaction.

"Excuse me?" Sam grabbed Andy's arm, turning her to face him. She'd expected teasing or ridicule…she hadn't expected confusion. "You mean to tell me, that in all these months that you and Callaghan were getting cozy, you'd never woken up with the guy?" Sam shook his head, "That must have gone over well. Excuse me for saying this, but Callaghan seems to be the type who'd need that whole _waking up together _routine. His ego must have taken quite a hit to wake up each morning, and you weren't there."

"He questioned me about it a few times, yeah. I always had a reason ready, but I think he saw through me. That's why I think he asked me to move in with him. It was sink or swim time, and that's why I said _yes_…I should want this, shouldn't I, Sam? I mean, it's the next logical step in a relationship when two people care about each other."

"Yeah, it's the next logical step when two people _love_ each other, McNally. Caring isn't enough to make it over the long haul." They were the words she needed to hear.

"Why couldn't you stick it out, McNally? What made you leave?" Sam asked gently, oblivious that he was still holding on to Andy's arm. The contact was second nature for the two partners.

She shrugged, turned and started walking, gently pulling Sam along with her since they were still connected. His hand moved down her arm to her hand until their fingers linked. Finding comfort through that contact, Andy found the words.

"I always felt so claustrophobic - I just had to get out of there. I really care about Luke, but when I'm with him, a part of me is playing a role - I can't totally be myself around him. It's like if I show him who I really am, I mean all of those dark parts of me, that he'll see me as tainted or twisted and I won't be good enough anymore."

"That sounds like a trust thing, McNally. It sounds like you don't trust Callaghan to love you for who you really are – in spite of, or even because of your flaws. You're allowed to have them, you know." Sam let go of Andy's hand to wrap his arm around her in a hug. When she rested her head on his shoulder, Sam laid his cheek Andy's hair. "This thing between you two, Andy…it's not going to work if you don't have trust."

"It's not just me, Sam. It's Luke, too. He still doesn't trust me because of what happened between you and me. He tries to act like he's all concerned about me and interested in who I'm partnered with - who has my back, but I know it's because he wants me to know that he knows when you and I are partnered together." Andy's agitation level was rising with the direction of their conversation. "What does he think is going to happen when we're on shift together? Does he expect that we're going to tear each other's clothes off and make love on the hood of the cruiser?" _Tempting._

"Maybe it's because he knows that you and I trust each other. Maybe he's afraid that you don't trust him the way you trust me, and every time we're partnered together, he's reminded of that. What you and I have together is something that you and Callaghan will never have. You and I put ourselves in harms way each and every day knowing that, as partners, we're there for each other - whatever happens. Hell, even I'd be jealous of that connection with someone else."

"I get it, Sam, but that still doesn't tell me what I should do about my living situation. If I move out, then Luke and I are definitely done, but if I stay, I don't know how long this thing will even last with me feeling the way I'm feeling."

"Andy, it's only the first night. You never know, you might settle in and things will get better with time…and if you need to ditch, you can always stay at my place. I have a spare bedroom..."


	3. Chapter 3

It was 2:25am when Sam and Andy started to head back to Luke's house. They both had to be at work for 7am, and that meant an extra 20 minute drive for each of them – Sam, to get home and Andy, her new commute. Andy could feel herself tensing up the closer she got to "home"…the closer to having to make a decision – to stay or to go. With every step closer to the house, the more Sam felt Andy retreat into herself. Where just a few minutes ago, they walked hand-in-hand in comfortable companionship, they now walked almost a foot apart along the sidewalk.

Reaching the house 45 minutes later, they stood in the driveway looking at each other, leaving too many things unsaid. Sam knew that Andy would walk through that door, stepping right back into her new life with Luke, and he'd be left as he always was - on the backburner until she needed him again. He should be used to it by now.

"Thanks for everything today, Sam." Andy said, reaching out to Sam, placing her hand on his arm.

"You'd do the same for me, if I needed it. That's what partners are for," he replied. Funny, how he avoided the word _friend_ like the plague. Taking Andy's lead, he reached out and rested his hands on her upper arms, pulling her close, wrapping his arms around her in a lengthy hug. He might as well take what he could get.

"I'd better start heading back. At this rate, I'm not even sure if it would be worth going to bed." Sam chuckled, stepping back, letting his hands slide down Andy's arms to hold both of her hands.

"I'm sorry, Sam. Tell you what…I'll keep us both knee-deep in coffee when we're on-shift tomorrow - my treat, all day. It's the least I can do for keeping you up all night." Andy realized, too late, the double-entendre of her last remark. She felt the blush tint her cheeks and was thankful for the darkness broken only by the street lights. Dim light, however, couldn't hide Sam's smile.

"Damn right, it's the least you can do, especially since you kept me up all night and all we did was talk. I'd let it slide if you could take pity on a poor guy…a kiss, a boob-graze, a quickie in my truck, whatever - just to keep my reputation intact." Sam teased. He was rewarded with a punch in the arm and a laugh from his partner.

Back on level ground, Andy started to step back toward the house. "Thanks again, Sam. Drive safe."

"I always do, McNally. See you in a few hours."

Watching the truck's tail lights fade as Sam drove away, Andy could no longer delay the inevitable. She turned and walked toward the house, entering as quietly as she could. Not waking Luke would be her preference, as any heavy conversation could wait until her reserves weren't so depleted. Andy was stretched a bit too thin for any coherent discussion right now, and she knew that Luke wouldn't hesitate to hammer questions at her.

As she quietly closed and locked the front door, she sighed. Turning to head back upstairs, she jumped when a light came on, temporarily blinding her. When the spots in front of her eyes cleared, she saw Luke sitting in a chair in the living room.

"Luke! You scared me! What are you doing sitting in the dark?" _Busted_.


	4. Chapter 4

"What was Swarek doing here, Andy? It's 3:30 in the morning," Luke said with dead calm, as if Andy hadn't even spoken. "Do you have any idea how I felt, waking up and you were gone? Here I am, thinking you just went downstairs, but when I come down to check, your phone is on the counter and you're nowhere to be found."

"I called him…" Andy said, her words trailing off.

"Why, Andy? What was so important that it couldn't wait until you saw him at work?"

Andy struggled searching for a plausible excuse, not wanting to have the conversation that was sure to follow. _She__wasn__'__t__ready__for__this._ "I thought that I left something in his truck…"

"…that you couldn't live without until morning?" Luke interrupted, getting angrier by the minute. "You can do better than that. Don't lie to me, Andy. Don't treat me like I'm stupid."

"So don't treat me like one of your suspects, Luke!" Andy answered defensively, her mounting anger a by-product of the guilt she was feeling.

"Help me understand what was so important that it had Sam Swarek jumping in his truck to drive 20 minutes in the middle of the night to see you? I have my suspicions, but I think I deserve to hear it from you." Luke pinned her with an accusatory stare.

Andy's indecision was written all over her face, whether she should tell Luke the truth about her conflicting feelings about living together or whether to do damage control in the meantime, until she was better prepared to do battle.

_Here__we__go__…_"I don't know if I can do this, Luke…"

"Do what, Andy. Live together? Be together? What?" Luke asked, his voice laced with exasperation.

"You see, I'm screwed either way! If I say that I don't know if I can live together, then we're probably not even going to _**be**_ together either, are we? If I say that I jumped into this too soon, that I'm not ready for this next step, what are you going to say to that?"

"What do you think I'm going to say, Andy? I'm going to say that maybe you should have thought about that before we actually moved in together. Damn it!" Luke yelled, abruptly turning away from her, throwing his arms up in anger.

"It's not like I planned for this to happen, Luke. Nobody goes into a situation like this hoping to fail. Maybe I shouldn't even unpack. Sam has a spare room I can stay in until I find a place."

He should have known that Swarek was behind all this. Realizing that he was losing her and to that hairball, no less, Luke changed tactics. "Don't you think you're overreacting a little bit, Andy? I mean, it's only the first night. Maybe once a few nights have gone by, you'll feel differently. Don't you think you should at least give this – give us a chance? I want you in my life, Andy. You don't have to run from me." _Meaning,__don__'__t__run__to__Swarek._

"I'm not running from you, Luke, really I'm not. It's just that this place doesn't feel like home to me. I don't know if you even see it, but look around. What do you see? You see your couch and loveseat… your flat screen… your grandparents' dining room set…upstairs you see your bedroom suite. Where am I in all of this, Luke, because this house has you all over it, and I'm just an afterthought."

"Is this just about your stuff, Andy? Because if that's all this is, we can change it. We can even get rid of my stuff and buy new stuff together. We can fix this, Andy." Luke coaxed.

"It sounds so silly when you say it that way. It's not all about my stuff, Luke, although that's part of it. It just all points to a bigger issue. I feel secondary in your life – your job is number one…your things outrank my things…sure, you made sure my name was on the title to the house, and don't get me wrong, I appreciate that, but this place isn't mine. Don't you see? I'm your roommate, not your partner."

With that _**partner**_ comment, Luke felt his anger mounting. "Like _**Swarek**_ is your partner, Andy?" He asked snidely.

"Don't do that, Luke. This has nothing to do with Sam, and everything to do with you and me. He's done nothing but be my friend. He's even gone so far as to jump to your defence on more than one occasion. He may very well be the main reason we're still together," Andy told him pointedly. "But sometimes I feel like I can count on him more than I can count on you."

"You've talked to Swarek about us?"

"I've just told you I can count on Sam more than I can count on you and _**that**__**'**__**s**_ what you take away from all this? That I've talked to Sam about our relationship? Are you kidding me?" Andy asked, looking at Luke incredulously.

"What do you expect me to think, Andy, when you share things about our relationship with the guy? It doesn't actually inspire me to share my deepest and darkest, when you're just going to up and share them with Sam Swarek!"

"I don't _**plan**_ on telling him things, Luke. We spend so much time together on the job…he can just tell when I'm upset about something - he has a way of pulling it out of me. He's not looking to undermine you, Luke. You're doing a good enough job of that on your own." Andy lashed out.

"Me, undermining, Andy? You are so full of it. You're feeling guilty and so you're deflecting the blame."

"No, Luke…I'm just trying to explain why I share certain things with Sam and not you. Sam doesn't put his job before his partner. He's there when it matters, Luke." _He__just__wasn__'__t__getting__it._

"Oh, here we go. Andy, you know how important my job is – what's at stake. I thought you understood that?"

"Objectively, I get it, Luke, but it's another thing to experience it first-hand – to live it…to live with your absence. Even when you're here, your mind is wrapped up in a case that you're dealing with. And I know that what you do, you do for the families, but you have to admit that they're not your only motivation – not the only one who benefits from you closing a case. Your career is a huge motivator, Luke."

"You can't blame me for wanting to further my career, Andy. I wouldn't begrudge you that. I'd encourage and support you."

"I know you would, Luke, and believe me; I feel a bit small saying that I'm jealous that you focus more on dead people than on me. But I also know that I need more, and I don't think you're capable of giving it to me." 

"And Swarek is? Is that what you're telling me Andy, because if it is, we can just end this thing right now? Just be sure, because the moment he's offered the chance to go under with Guns and Gangs, he'll leave you swinging in the breeze. You're a fool if you think Swarek's career doesn't come first."

"This isn't about Sam and me, Luke. It's about you and me, or the lack of. I deserve more from this relationship – if you can call it that. And since I can't very well leave because I don't have a car, I'm going to sleep in the spare bedroom, in my bed. At least THAT will feel like home to me." Andy was through arguing. She was done. And she needed a ride to work.

She had another phone call to make.


End file.
